I waited

That night would be the night that I had decided to put it down on you like never before. Pop the champagne and lure in the magic between our sheets. I had calculated the first two moves I would make, the rest would be history, but at least I had a blur of the events to happen.
I sat there by the fire side, dressed in the red dress with dangling chiffons on the side of my left hip, I knew you loved it. But the real deal was the skimpy scarlet lingerie beneath it, that would make your hands travel all over my body like wild beasts on a grassy land …waiting for you to set in and grace me with thy majestic presence.
I soaked in the romantic mood that the slow jazz music set…feeling your presence already, I couldn’t help it but smile ear to ear.
Even the steps of my noisy neighbor got me hoping that it was you, my heart raced… I wanted to see you or else I would fail to function… you hadn’t promised you’d come, but it had been long, and I know the universe sent you the message, if my heart didn’t.
You had to be feeling the same, you had to have missed me. I swear I could feel it.
8:00pm….. I knew this was the time you would arrive, with excitement. Hug me then kiss me so tender, whisper to my ear of how much you want me..
9:00pm….. I remember telling myself of how your get late sometimes, or lose track of time saying farewell to friends you had been with during the weekend. I knew you’d be here, with me, without fail.
10:00pm….. I still had my hair up, and my ear rings intact. I sipped the now bitter wine, and had watched the food turn frost…. I was in no position to cry… had I called, no!… the wait was starting to get frustrating..
11:00…. My eyes gave in I was done for tonight…
I waited.

A Love Letter

I wish I could promise to promise not,
To fall for what I feel,
Though I know not of my feelings will,
Thus don’t blame what I intend to say,
Or what I have in mind,
Maybe these are dreams- that I wish we true,
So maybe this may not be easy,
I may lose you,
But I’ll still say I love you,
Because I want you,
I want all of you,
Every day- forever,
You and me…every day,
For though lost love is still love,
It’s not the same- that’s all,
I can’t see your smile,
Or bring you food in bed,
Or tousle your hair when we are together,
Or move them around a dance floor,
As you stay a little longer,
And come closer to my heart,
Breathe dew breeze on my neck’s nape,
Do not yet depart,
Play for me bagpipe music,
Blindfold all my starving fears,
Let the dulcet tones of your voice,
Give us back those harvest years,
Though when those senses weaken,
Another heightens,
Memory-becomes your partner,
And you hold it,
And dance with it,
Though I hope,
This will lead not,
To memory…

>>>I wish you knew<<<

 I wish you knew,

How a part of me screams,

How a part of me cries,

And a part of me leaves,

Every time I know your hurt,

I wish you were mine,

But it hurts sometimes more than we bear,

If we could live without each other,

I don’t know where we would be,

But if we could live without passion,

Maybe we would know some kind of peace,

But you and I know we would be hollow,

Empty rooms,

Shuttered and dank,

Without our passion,

We would truly be dead,

So that’s why maybe,

We put love first,

And entertain thoughts that give life,

Maybe I don’t know,

But I know if we live through feeling,

We will live through love,

For feeling is the language of the soul,

And feeling is truth,

So maybe just maybe,

We need to follow our hearts,

It may hurt,

We may cry,

But if we hide it,

It burns us more and more,

Until the pain grows,

And grows,

And never ends.


Words can’t express what I meant,
When I left,
And I can’t say I wasn’t wrong too,
But blessed are the lovers…. Trembling. They cling to one another, Like small frightened animals who tremble, knowing they will die…. Their only strength against the wind and tide, Are the beautifying words of all existence: I love you. We shall grow old together to the end….
Though these are words,
I may have hidden from you,
Knowing not of how you felt-pushing you away
Wishing I knew,
Now am left craving kisses,
Though I know one cannot live on kisses,
Even though the honeymoon is sweet,
Harken, brides, a true word this is,—
Even lovers have to eat.

And though,
You are the one…… I need in my life,
You are the one…… who makes my life beautiful,
You are the one…… who gives direction to my life,
You are the one…… I open my heart up to,
You are the one…… I admire most,
You are the one…… I want to see happy,
You are the one…… I want to hold in my arms,
You are the one…… I want to see beside me,
You are the one…… I want to cry with,
You are the one…… I want to laugh with,
You are the one…… I am waiting to come into my life,
You are the one…… I want to spend my whole life,
You are the one…… I don’t want lose,
You are the one…… I miss a lot,
You are the one…… I love, You are the one……..
Whose charms I can’t resist—it’s true
I don’t know what to say—I’m blank
Though I wish I wasn’t.

(“I wish I told you this but my absence hid my true intentions.”)


I don’t know what tomorrow well be like,

I don’t have the slightest clue why,

But I wish you’d rob me,

Rob me of the feeling to remember,

And make my heart a little tender,

Rob me of my sight,

But show me how to surrender to my heart,

Take me on an adventure,

Show me you’re why shy,

Why you’re special,

Write a story with me,

And let me show you,

How loving you is like falling into a blissful sleep,

That happens slowly,

Then very suddenly,

And I find myself asleep,

And never wanting to wake up,

And I hope that I never have to,

Wishing with all my heart that this is reality.

For dreaming about you,

Makes me wish you won’t fade away,

But that you’ll stay with me forever,


The sound of your voice is music to my ear,
So soft, sweet, and clear.

As I dream of,
The kiss from your lips words cannot explain,
Which takes away my worries and my pain.
The caress of your hand sends shivers down my spine,
Every day I pray to God you be mine.


The sight of your lovely face takes away all my fears,
You’re the one I want to love,
For an eternity I want to spend in your arms,
Everyday graced by your beauty and your charms.

831 means “I love you” – eight letters, three words, one meaning,


Space Between Us

If I was a figment of your imagination,
Would you make me real?
For I am but,
But a lost soul,
Walking along the lonely road,
Wishing and saying,
I want you here,
But doubt says,
“The ship has sailed.”
I could tell you I like you,
But would it really matter,
Yet you know I care?

I am your neighbour,
Yet you treat me like time,
Though don’t misunderstand me,
I don’t mean your mean,
And neither do I want to say what I feel,
Or should I be,
Like hatred,
That is forbidden by the laws of life,
But still lets destruction reign.


I guess its better staying int the dark.
It’s better not knowing coz it hurts much less that way.
It was that that i dint know that made me, succumb to fear. Fear of unknown
But now that i know its even more dredier than i thought, the fear became real in a split second and drenched in sweat i still couldn’t embrace the inner essence of what was being manifested. Being hard is different from being cold. Hard is just the simple state of denying all truths that fear is a core of ur being. Being cold is being unaware of any feelings that could define fear happiness or anger that’s a clear face of blank stereotypical figurines. Wouldn’t draw more attention to it .
Fear is life fear makes us feel at the edge but it makes us feel alive

We are constantly wishing for some kind of emotion, we ask to feel love, fear, happiness, sadness, just the ability to feel something. Why cant we just get what we ask for? Why don’t emotions come with warnings? Labels instructing us how much we are allowed to consume in a hour, the same way that sleeping pills do. Why cant one ever have enough? The bottle says “take one “ and you take three. Why on earth would anyone want to be numb? I learned the reason why and I hope you keep on reading so you can see what I see. Pain is my best friend, she sleeps with me, she eats with me, she is my partner in crime. She’s a real bitch though; most times I wish that she’d go away and leave me alone. I’ve had enough of pain. So I told her to leave and she did. I’ve met a new friend his name is love. He consumes me and he brings so much light into my darkness. He said that he is a good friend of pain and that sometimes they catch up for a cup of coffee. God I hate that bitch. Just when I thought I’ve gotten rid of her she returns and with love. I tell love “I don’t want her here when I’m with you” he stares at me and says “you can never just get one of us, we come together.” I didn’t understand what he meant they were completely different why the hell will he want to spend so much time with pain? that’s when I realize that I was done with love so I told him to leave and he did. I met a girl named time, she stood around for a while and it was good but with time I needed just a little bit of patience. so I searched but I didn’t know where to find him. So she left. I searched my whole life looking for happiness but I was told that I can only find her with help from pain, love, time , and patience. How is that possible? I asked. “I don’t want them in life they’re all gone now, so I feel nothing.” Why is it that we cant just feel what we want to feel why cant we just have one thing? This is what life told me. “You cant know happiness if you don’t know pain, with patience and time you’ll find love.” “So why in the world would anyone want to feel numb?” I asked “ Its because once we get a pinch of any emotion that we were lacking to express we can’t even bare it.”


I’ve had it for a while,

Feelings mixed emotions,

Though still I don’t know why,

Why I let my eyes,


Though I wonder,

“As I see, I breathe and even let out a little steam but still I can’t imagine the missed memories that may be, the missed talks, hugs and kisses that my secrets may or may not deny me and the friendships that may or may not be killed…”

And now I’m asking,

Is it bad?

That I’m hiding myself in the field and town,

Waiting for een the breeze to knock me down,

As the bees that seem to be singing ballads oer,

With the fly’s bass turning into lion’s roars;

Making me see,

That even silence has found a tongue,

Which may haunt me all the summer long;

As it leaves,

One riddle that I see,

Even nature can’t prove,

Which is nothing else but;


“Am I wrong or are my shadows turning me inside out…I wonder why…maybe I’m a little lost or maybe not…but still I wish someone will help me find the missing pieces…as I wait for thee who knows am no angel and will never be…”

 For I hold within,

A million,

You may not know all,

But would you trust me,

If you did…?

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